Livid
by Liv Cassidy
Summary: David was in love with Olivia Benson, and he thought she loved him, too. He gave up everything for her, only to learn of an unsettling discovery.


**A/N: This has been toying in my head for a while. We know David resigned at the end of "Above Suspicion," and I can't believe that he would resign and not try to reconnect with Olivia. I'm also unsure if it was David or Brian in Olivia's shower at the beginning of "Lost Reputation."**

**Livid**

David Haden was still in shock of what he had just done. His resignation papers were signed and submitted. In the midst of the chaos that had hit the District Attorney's office, it was ultimately the perfect timing. The New York Attorney General along with three district attorneys, the head of the DA's Public Integrity Unit, seven members of NYPD's vice squad, two state senators, and two deputy mayors had just been arrested. The state was in shock, and now was his chance to put in his own resignation. It was something he should have done months ago.

People would suspect he was resigning because he had something to hide, but he didn't care. He knew that he had no involvement with Foster's scheme. No, his resignation was completely unrelated to the recent events. He'd done it for her.

He flashed back to their last encounter, just before all the chaos had unveiled:

_He had just left work. The constant aching sensation in his heart continued to burn at his chest. The last few months had not been easy for him.. Saying goodbye to her had been the hardest decision he had ever made. He would have quit his job for her, but she wouldn't allow him. He knew how dedicated she was to her job, and she would never allow him to do something she wouldn't do herself. That didn't change how much he missed her. _

_Something told him that she missed him too. She was always making excuses to call him. Their calls were always professional and work related. In the back of his mind, he knew she still had lingering feelings for him. Why else would she be calling? You just don't go from being together like they were to strictly business partners. It wasn't possible, was it? Once you became intimately involved with someone, how were you supposed to look at them the same way again? _

_He hesitated a moment before he pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts, landing on "Olivia Benson." He took a deep breath before pressing "Call." His heart raced as the phone started to ring. Would she answer? What if she didn't? He was more afraid that she would._

"_Hello, David." His heart skipped a beat when he heard her soft voice enter his ear._

"_Liv, uh, hey!" he stumbled for words. His face flushed red, and he was thankful that she couldn't see him right now._

"_Is everything all right?" she asked with a hint of concern in her voice. She was always quick to jump to the worst case scenario, and he couldn't blame her. He knew she saw the worst of the worst._

"_Yeah, everything's great, actually. I was, uh, just wondering what you were up to, and if you'd want to catch a drink or something." Nice going, David, he thought, realizing what a fool he must sound like right now._

"_Well, actually, I was just heading home to go to bed. It's been a crazy week," she said, and he could sense the tiredness in her voice._

"_Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I just thought…"_

"…_no, no, you're not bothering me," she interrupted him. "Actually, on second thought, if you'd want to come over to my place for drinks, we could spend a little time catching up. It's only nine o'clock, so it won't kill me to stay up a couple more hours." _

"_Are you sure?" he questioned her. He wasn't about to decline. _

"_Of course I'm sure, David. I…I…miss you." _

_There were no words that could have made him happier._

"_I miss you, too," David whispered. "I'll see you in fifteen." _

No words could describe how he'd felt that moment. He'd realized he had made a horrible mistake. He should have fought harder for her. Why hadn't he? The past months had been unbearable without her. No words could describe how she made him feel. He couldn't look at other women the same way he looked at her. Her beauty was not comparable.

_The butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he approached her apartment. He felt like an eighth grader going on his first date. There was something about Olivia Benson. She was different, and he'd known that all along._

_He knocked on her door and waited for her to answer. When she answered, she was wearing a bathrobe and her hair was let down and damp. She'd just gotten out of the shower. _

"_David," she greeted him, smiling weakly and gazing into his eyes. He studied her face for a moment. The dark circles sunk under her eyelids. She looked exhausted. She wasn't wearing make-up, though her beauty still drew him in. She guided him into her apartment and he saw the two glasses of wine she had poured._

"_Wow," he smiled at her. "You look good."_

"_Doubtful, but thank you. Glass of wine?" she handed him the already poured glass, then reached for her own and took a sip. He took a sip of his own glass. The sweet taste of wine filled his mouth. _

"_So, how have you been?" he asked, trying to make conversation._

"_I've been…well, I really don't want to talk about," she mumbled. "How about you?" _

_He frowned. He'd known she hated to talk about her feelings. It hadn't been easy for him to get her to open up to him before. He knew she had skeletons in her past, though he knew he didn't know the whole story. Benson wasn't the type to go telling just anyone her personal life. Though, judging by how she reacted, he had a feeling she'd been hurt many times in the past. He didn't want to hurt her, though he was afraid he already had._

"_Meh," he sighed. "What I said on the phone was true."_

"_As was what I said," she replied. Her eyes twinkled into his, and then she looked away. She took her glass of wine into the bedroom, and he followed her. _

"_I can't go on with my life without you, Liv," David told her, setting his glass on the night stand. "I-I think I love you. I want us to be together. What I said before was true. I'll resign from my job, if it means I can have you."_

_She looked at him and shook her head. Tears formed in her eyes, and then she wrapped her arms around him. Their lips met, and the rest was history._

David couldn't get their last moments together out of his head. He knew then what he had to do. He'd spent the night that night and woke up early to shower. He'd left her sleeping peacefully, but when he'd left the bathroom he'd found an empty bed. It was later he learned about Cragen. So much had happened afterward that he didn't get a chance to catch up with her. She didn't know he was actually resigning, and that's why he wanted it to be a surprise for her.

He walked out of the District Attorney's office for the last time and pulled out his cell phone, scrolled down to Olivia's name, and anxiously pressed call. He smiled to himself excitedly as he waited for her to answer so he could tell her the good news.

"Hello?" a voice answered the phone, though it wasn't Olivia Benson's voice. The voice was deeper, clearly a man's voice.

"Uh, did I dial the wrong number? I thought I was calling Olivia…"

"No, this is Liv's phone. She's in the shower right now. Is this David Haden?" the voice asked, and his heart sank. What was a man doing in Olivia's apartment while she was in the shower? He didn't know much about her family. Could it be her brother or her father? She had never mentioned any family to him. The voice didn't sound like Nick's or Fin's.

"Uh, yes, who is this?"

"This is Brian Cassidy, and could you do me a favor? Leave Olivia alone. I've waited fourteen years for her, and I don't need you coming back into the picture to screw everything up. I know all about your past with her. She doesn't love you anymore. Now, leave us alone."

"I-I'm sorry. I think I have the wrong number." David was quick to hang up. Somberness settled in his heart. What had just happened? Not long ago Olivia was telling him that she missed him. Now, she had moved on. How had this happened? Had what they shared meant absolutely nothing to her? He'd looked in her eyes, and what he'd seen was love. Had it all been in his imagination?

None of it mattered.

He'd just resigned for nothing.

He was livid.

Was anything worth living for?


End file.
